My Gift

For Mother's Day I decided the best present would be a photo shoot with my beautiful daughter, Katherine Faith. Because it was a last minute decision I didn't have very big expectations. What I didn't expect was to absolutely love the pictures we had taken at JCPenney. The pictures capture my thoughts and feelings about the precious gift I have of being a mother:
My hopes of becoming a mother were dashed when I received the devestating news on Oct. 31 2002 that I had metastatic breast cancer. The news couldn't have come at a worst time; I was in the middle of my fourth invitro attempt. Just five months earlier I had experienced a miscarriage in the 10th week, and then to be told I would never have children truly broke my heart. The realization that I would never have children was worse than the disease prognosis. I mourned the death of the dream I had cherished for many years.And then Heavenly Father saw fit to grant me two miracles. The first was the miracle of complete remission 5 months into cancer treatment. The second came when I decided to try again to become a mother. After witnessing the blessed adoption of my nephew, Corbin, by my sister, Kimberly, I felt inspired to make the attempt. Our adoption papers with LDS Family Services were complete by February 2004. There were several leads and even an unwed mother who came to our house one evening asking us to adopt her child. None of the situations felt right to us, however, and I felt horribly ungrateful declining several possibilities.
Then we received the call that forever changed our lives. On the Tuesday after Memorial Day, Pat Cabbage from LDS Family Services called to inform us that he needed more copies of our profile page. At that time we asked him to be present at a meeting with a birth mom later in the week. He asked, "Do you still want to have the meeting if you are chosen on Thursday?" Exact words. Then he informed us that a birth mom living in Oregon was considering us along with 3 other couples to adopt her baby. She had already turned down 24 other couples, but still we felt encouraged and optimistic. On Wednesday we asked our families to fast and pray for us and the birth mom. On Thursday Pat called to tell us we were her choice. . .
One week later, Greg and I sat in the LDSFS offices in Portland meeting the sweet, beautiful girl who will forever be our hero. We were so nervous! Would Brittany think we were fabulous and funny, smart and clever, worthy to be her baby's parents? She was calm, sure of her decision, beautiful and glowing. It was all too wonderful and we were giddy. We didn't know if the baby would be a boy or a girl, we just knew it was right.

On the day of the birth (June 24th), Greg was already in Portland for business so I flew solo. Before the plane took off I just had to know: boy or girl? I had purchased clothing for either, but had removed the tags and washed everything pink. The call came as I sat buckled in my airplane seat. A baby girl! Our Katherine Faith.
She is my Katherine Faith. I have never doubted that her spirit was meant to be in our home, that her existence here at this time was planned. If I had to go through chemotherapy, radiation, and surgeries all over again if it meant having her in my life, I would. She is my reason for fighting the fight, for never giving up.
Katherine is sassy and smart. She is imaginative and clever. She is sensitive and tender, but also a fighter and tenacious. Her energy at times seems endless and I cherish the moments she lets me cuddle with her.
She is my very best gift.
The happy ending to the happy story: last summer we had a chance meeting with Brittany and witnessed how very blessed she has been. We learned she married in the temple and at the time was 7 months pregnant!